Bad to Compare!

    I hope everyone is having an enjoyable Sunday!  I have had a week full of lots of ups and downs.  It has really had me reflecting on alot of things.  I was having a tough week and doing alot of comparing to others.  I know I'm a Mom and I warn my kids against this.  However, I am human.  You know how the neighbor always appears to have  a happier marriage, better business, better kids, nicer car , nicer furniture , the list can go on and on when you get stuck comparing.  Well I was having one of those days.  I was so down I felt so depressed and upset.  When was it going to be my turn to be happy, to be well off and not have to worry about finances, to have all my kids could ever want or need, to go on a vacation and live it up?  When me?
      I confided in a dear friend about my feelings.  I was so upset, frustrated and she suggested I watch something on Netflix.  She said it was a little corny  but well worth it.  It was a show called "The Secret"!  Let me tell you something, it was stuff I already knew and used to do in my life.  Somewhere along the way  forgot about me.  My happiness, what made me happy, and what it was I really wanted out of life.
        Do you know what my greatest desire has always been? To be a part of a REAL family.  I always felt like an outsider in the families I was a part of.  There was a Mom and a Dad one usually was a stepparent and I was someone's step kid.  I wanted to be loved just for me.  Not for what they wanted me to be or act.  I just wanted someone to love the clumsy, crazy, silly kid that I was.  I honestly searched for this.  I longed for this.  In my 20s I sought the wrong kind of people to help me feel good.  I looked everywhere for the love and affection that I couldn't even give myself.  I compared myself to others.  Their families loved them. They spent lots of holidays and Sundays together.  Mine was never an easy interaction like theirs.  I always begged to be loved not judged.
        Now in my 40s I reflect on this life I had.  I sat comparing myself and then watched that show and it was like a slap in the face.  I looked around the living room and you know what I saw?  6 beautiful kids, a husband and myself, two dogs and two cats.  I home is far from perfect at the moment as we are waiting to move into our dream home but its a FAMILY!  I was sitting living my dream and never realized it.  All those nights I cried myself to sleep as a child just wishing I had a real family that loved me... My dreams had come true.
        Tonight I had another eye opener.  I have told you about us being foster parents.  Some of my kids now came to me through foster care and then adoption.  Well some of my kids are still out in the world. I had many teens go through our doors and take a peace of my heart with them when they left.  I got to talk to two of these young men tonight.  They still call me Mama, told me they loved me and missed me.  They also wish they would of been with me longer and when they where younger.  These two boys are as different as night and day.  They are of different races, where in different gangs and from different parts of the hood.  God brought us together but our hearts made us all part of a family.  There is no blood relation between us but they are my sons!  I have quite a few lost sons in the world who I think of all the time.  I hope I was able to give the memory of a happy family and home.  I hope they hold it dear in their heart and will someday be that family they dream of for their children.
        My entire point in this post is to take a moment and look around you.  Do not look and compare your life to someone elses.  There is no comparrison.  Yours is honestly much better than theirs.  Do you know why?  It is your dream personified.  All your hopes and dreams you are living on a daily basis.  Comparing will only bring you down but living your dream and being happy in what you have will give you happiness beyond measure.  Your family I'm sure is not perfect, I know of none that are truly as perfect as we perceive them.  However, it is your family.  It is the family that you have created with the help of someone very special weather that be a partner, spouse, child, friend or roommate.  Families are not always blood. A house is just a house a home is where you hang your heart.  Hang your heart and love what you have created and have a wonderful week.

You are Beautiful!

     You are beautiful!  I know those few simple words can put a smile on my face!  My husband tries to tell me that everyday and I just shrug and say " nope, I'm old and fat honey"  He tells me I'm still beautiful in his eyes.  How many of us have someone tell us we are beautiful and don't stop and listen?  How many times do we do exactly what I do and say no I'm not because...?  I do it all the time.  All of us deserve to hear that we are beautiful.  However, we need to listen and hear it.  Not come back with why we think we are not beautiful.
      Whose perception of beautiful do we want to truly have?  Heavenly Father loves each of us divinely just as we are. He created us in his image.  That has to be beautiful right?  I know his love is beautiful and his spirit so I'm sure his beauty is unimaginable. When we make justifications for us not being beautiful we are saying he isn't beautiful, after all  he created us in his image.  Ok are you really hearing me?  Please listen to me with your heart.
      When you truly know your beautiful you will learn to love yourself .  You are a beautiful person inside and out.  The Lord created you for a very special purpose.  Think about it like this; you are so and so's daughter, wife, mother, friend, boss, worker, and so on.  You are the only one who could fill this role in this world.  I have my own role to fill in the Lords world and could never fill yours.  We are all here to fulfill a certain purpose for him.  I myself have spent so many years trying to figure out my role here on earth.  I am 46 years old and finally have part of it figured out.
       I grew up with being told by so many that I was ugly, worthless and would never amount to anything in life.  I constantly would be mad and upset and feel ugly.  I however would get so angry and tell myself I was going to prove them wrong.  I finally have after all these years.  I am a beautiful mother to 8 beautiful souls.  I also am a Mama to so many more kids that I fostered and have loved in my home and community.  I do not have the perfect body but I now know that is okay because I have the perfect heart.  I can love with a pure heart.  I have learned to look past the heartaches and hug my child with in.  By doing this I am now able to love unconditionally.  The Lord knew I was the only person who could understand some of the kids he put in my life.  He also knew they where the only kids that could touch my heart and help me to see and find my heart and my purpose.  I no longer foster anymore but am still in contact with many of my kids.  I will always love them and be their Mama Cole.
      All of my experiences in life have helped me to see my own beautiful.  I am a mother, a wife and a beautiful daughter of our Heavenly Father.  What about you?
   

My Journey

My Journey

      When I first ventured on my journey I did not realize what lie ahead. Honestly, do we ever really understand what will result in the choices we make?  I never thought in a million years that a simple choice I made could result in so many life altering things. I choose to sell a simple product with a simple company right?  Well that is what I thought.  I joined Scentsy intending to have a cheap way to get wax.  I loved candles but hated all the soot all over my walls .  A friend had a party and I ordered a warmer and three waxes.  It was honestly heaven when I got the warmer home and turned it on.  My first wax was banana nut bread.  My downstairs quickly filled with this wonderful aroma!  My kids loved it also.  I began to save the money I normally spent on candles which was about 25 dollars.  I figured I would do this and buy the starter kit myself.  I did this and began my journey.  I had a fantastic launch party and was on my way.
        Shortly afterward I went to a mini convention called Spring Sprint.  I quickly met and saw a ton of people selling Scentsy . Spring Sprint taught me so much about the products I was selling and the people behind them.  I learned different ideas on how to run my business!  I began to get super excited about all the new things Scentsy was offering.
        I want you to look at the path above.  Like life it is winding, and crack and even goes up hill at some point.  That is how my journey has been. My team grew to four of us.  Life was cruising along and then we decided to move.  Not just any move.  We moved 1000 miles away.                                                                                                                                                                         I now was in a town where I knew noone.  It also appeared noone really wanted to know about Scentsy.  I didnt care, I would head out most of my days armed with catalogs, testers and cards.  I lent warmers out and sprayed room sprays everywhere I could. I began to get small orders here and there.
      I began to get discouraged. The cracks in my personal sidewalk where getting bigger and at times I felt like I was going to be swallowed up.
       Then one day our Director asked us what we wanted our business to do for us. She wanted us to make a dream board. I really had no dreams. I realized in that moment I had lost myself the last few years.  I had dreams for my kids, for my husband and even for my family.  My dreams where all for them. What did I dream of for me?  Honestly, nothing.  I cried like a baby.  I had given up my dreams so many years ago.  I was now given permission to dream again.  Honestly, it wasnt much that I dreamed of.  Just to be able to buy myself a new outfit from time to time.
        In my journey I also met some wonderful friends.  I am on facebook often and talk to people all over the world.  I began to reach out to them and tell them about Scentsy.  To my amazement it worked!  I started to sell more and more each month.  I gained new friends and we where having so much fun getting to know eachother.
        I have been blessed now with a team that in a short year has exploded.  I have received numerous promotions.I make decent money that now is helping me to fund my daughters 18 month mission!  It has been a year now and I still love my product and my job selling it.  I now have dreams of MY own.  I now have amazing friends within the business who encourage me , lift me up and are always there if I need help.  I also have wonderful customers who are first my friends.  The middle of my path is now smooth .  I still have a long way to go.  I have learned to take one step at a time and if the journey is cracked, crooked or uphill , I will embrace it.  I have an army of Scentsy Sisters who will push me up the hill if I need to. I have the self confidence to fall down and get back up. You know what makes this journey totally worthwhile?  I am my own boss and own my own business!  I run it when and how I want!  I am so thankful for this journey and all it is helping me to become.