Bad to Compare!

    I hope everyone is having an enjoyable Sunday!  I have had a week full of lots of ups and downs.  It has really had me reflecting on alot of things.  I was having a tough week and doing alot of comparing to others.  I know I'm a Mom and I warn my kids against this.  However, I am human.  You know how the neighbor always appears to have  a happier marriage, better business, better kids, nicer car , nicer furniture , the list can go on and on when you get stuck comparing.  Well I was having one of those days.  I was so down I felt so depressed and upset.  When was it going to be my turn to be happy, to be well off and not have to worry about finances, to have all my kids could ever want or need, to go on a vacation and live it up?  When me?
      I confided in a dear friend about my feelings.  I was so upset, frustrated and she suggested I watch something on Netflix.  She said it was a little corny  but well worth it.  It was a show called "The Secret"!  Let me tell you something, it was stuff I already knew and used to do in my life.  Somewhere along the way  forgot about me.  My happiness, what made me happy, and what it was I really wanted out of life.
        Do you know what my greatest desire has always been? To be a part of a REAL family.  I always felt like an outsider in the families I was a part of.  There was a Mom and a Dad one usually was a stepparent and I was someone's step kid.  I wanted to be loved just for me.  Not for what they wanted me to be or act.  I just wanted someone to love the clumsy, crazy, silly kid that I was.  I honestly searched for this.  I longed for this.  In my 20s I sought the wrong kind of people to help me feel good.  I looked everywhere for the love and affection that I couldn't even give myself.  I compared myself to others.  Their families loved them. They spent lots of holidays and Sundays together.  Mine was never an easy interaction like theirs.  I always begged to be loved not judged.
        Now in my 40s I reflect on this life I had.  I sat comparing myself and then watched that show and it was like a slap in the face.  I looked around the living room and you know what I saw?  6 beautiful kids, a husband and myself, two dogs and two cats.  I home is far from perfect at the moment as we are waiting to move into our dream home but its a FAMILY!  I was sitting living my dream and never realized it.  All those nights I cried myself to sleep as a child just wishing I had a real family that loved me... My dreams had come true.
        Tonight I had another eye opener.  I have told you about us being foster parents.  Some of my kids now came to me through foster care and then adoption.  Well some of my kids are still out in the world. I had many teens go through our doors and take a peace of my heart with them when they left.  I got to talk to two of these young men tonight.  They still call me Mama, told me they loved me and missed me.  They also wish they would of been with me longer and when they where younger.  These two boys are as different as night and day.  They are of different races, where in different gangs and from different parts of the hood.  God brought us together but our hearts made us all part of a family.  There is no blood relation between us but they are my sons!  I have quite a few lost sons in the world who I think of all the time.  I hope I was able to give the memory of a happy family and home.  I hope they hold it dear in their heart and will someday be that family they dream of for their children.
        My entire point in this post is to take a moment and look around you.  Do not look and compare your life to someone elses.  There is no comparrison.  Yours is honestly much better than theirs.  Do you know why?  It is your dream personified.  All your hopes and dreams you are living on a daily basis.  Comparing will only bring you down but living your dream and being happy in what you have will give you happiness beyond measure.  Your family I'm sure is not perfect, I know of none that are truly as perfect as we perceive them.  However, it is your family.  It is the family that you have created with the help of someone very special weather that be a partner, spouse, child, friend or roommate.  Families are not always blood. A house is just a house a home is where you hang your heart.  Hang your heart and love what you have created and have a wonderful week.