I have a question for you today. Who are you behind closed doors? Are you the same person that you portray in public? Do you find yourself sharing a different person on social media and wish you could share what you really feel in your heart? I totally know this feeling. I always portray that life is great and happy . When inside I have so many fears, anxiety and feelings of depression.
As a mother I feel as if I am not fulfilling my role the way I should. That I am lacking in understanding and compassion. As a mother of teens this is not an easy life. As they are trying to find their own way in this world it is as though I am the enemy. There are yelling matches, eye rolls and lots of air huffed out. There are times I just wish we could step back to when I was their hero and could do no wrong.
As a wife there are times I feel so under appreciated. It takes all I have physically to do the daily tasks. With all of my chronic pain and health issues I can't do the simple things I used to be able to. I feel guilty and less of a wife just because I can't scrub the bathroom or fold the laundry.
As a business woman I feel like I am lacking also. I am not where I feel I should be. I haven't earned the fancy incentive trips like everyone else. I don't have the sales I think I should have.
Why am I sharing all this with you? Because, it is completely normal for us to hide behind closed doors and cry and feel inadequate. I want all of you to know this is not what the Lord wants for you. He wants you to see yourself as he sees you. The feeling of inadequacy does not come from him. He wants you to rejoice in his light and share it with the world.
I want to challenge you to share these deep dark feelings. Get them out. Sometimes writing them down in a journal and purging them is an amazing help. Then when you are done I want you to go back and rewrite these feelings into a positive light. For example: I wish I was a better Mother to my children, I would then write " I am doing the best I can with what I have."
In the end I just want everyone to know that you are good enough. No matter what your heart or your mind tells you. Please don't ever let anyone or anything make you feel inferior. You are a one of a kind. There is absolutely no one in this world like you. You were born at this time and in this place to live the life you have as only you can.
Thats what has been in my heart. I will also do my best to not hide behind closed doors.
Till next time,
Till next time,
Cheryl
