NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO THERE YOU ARE!

Did you read the title? Read it one more time. What on earth does that mean? I've said this for years. It's from an old 80s movie Buckaroo Bonzai. It is a phrase that is said often, but most people don't grasp the concept. No matter where you go there you are? Of course, where else would you be? In life, there are always times we want to escape anywhere but here. We have just had enough of daily life and wish we could hop in our car, roll the windows down and turn the radio up on full blast. Let the wind blow through your hair and be free. Am I right? This past year with Covid has made me want to go on a long road trip. No destination at all to feel free and travel anywhere but here would be amazing. We can load up our car and pack our bags and arrive safely at our destination. Guess what... there you are. Right? You are right there correct?? But you wanted to escape right? The thing is you can't escape yourself. You can never leave yourself or your experiences or emotions. It doesn't matter how far you go or try to run away from yourself. You will always be right there. If you leave home scared, upset, depressed, and anxious when you arrive at your beautiful destination, the feelings will still be there. Yes, you will be in a different place, however there you are. It is a profound concept. It isn't always about needing a change of scenery or a different place to exist. Sometimes it's as simple as dealing with those feelings head-on. Feel them at the moment and in the place you are. The one thing in life you can never run away from is yourself. Your true self is always right there. Embrace that soul and be you always. I believe in you.

How Do you Proceed?

I want you to close your eyes and picture a path in your mind. You need to go down this path and have an important task to take care of at the end of it. You have been following it for a while now and all of a sudden you see it heading into the dark woods. Hmmm. How do you proceed down this path? Do you 1.) Say um no way am I going in those dark ass woods. So, you turn around quickly and go back the way you came. Maybe you can try again another time or just find another way. 2.) Do you run ahead as fast as you can with your eyes almost squinting closed, fists and jaws clenched? Praying the entire way you're not eaten by a monster or the darkness? 3.) Do you stop and open your backpack and look for a flashlight? Then grasp hold of it, take a deep breath and continue to walk ahead?? Me?? I'm a run through clenching my jaws and doing it no matter what kind of person. It could be a fire I have to walk through but if I said I would or if in my mind I feel it needs to be done no matter what. Yep, I'll face my fears and do it. There is no right or wrong way to face the darkness in our real lives. How we face the darkness in our lives is as different as we are. It is a necessary part of life though. Without the dark how can we appreciate the light? Let's look at why we do what we do and how we could change our perspective and behavior towards darkness. Do you know why I run through with clenched jaws? Honestly speaking, I'm a 55-year old woman who is still terrified of the dark. YES!! Really. To my inner child monsters did exist in the dark and they did hurt me. That is why I fear the dark now as an adult. It is a real rational fear. Also, the reason I would run through the woods no matter what is... yep you guessed it a trauma response. I'm overly independent. I've always had to be. I learned early on not to depend on people and did things myself: guess what? They can't hurt me or disappoint me that way. I'm in charge of my destiny. So if you chose same as me. Number 2 then examine why for yourself? Also, realize we could have chosen to stop and access the situation but that isn't who we are. We are the ones who run toward the dark and deal with it later without any thought to our self-preservation. Some people choose to just turn around and act like the darkness just isn't there or doesn't exist. This could work for a while. I did this for 40 plus years. Guess what? The darkness is still there and gets super thick and strong. It becomes harder to deny its existence. Eventually, it can overtake you per se and, you are left with no choice but to acknowledge its existence and deal with it. Then there are the number 3 people. I call these our scouts. They are always prepared for any situation. You know the people with a first aid kit in their glove compartment. A blanket, water jug, and snacks in the trunk too. "Just in CAse". They see the darkness and say, " Yes, I knew I"d need that flashlight! So glad I brought it!" They grab it and go forth to complete the task at hand. They feel well prepared and the darkness is just a chance to let their light shine!!! Ok, Do you see where I'm going with this?? I know right?? Crazy! So...how you confront the darkness says a lot about you. How do you want to go forth when you confront the darkness in your life? What can you do to help yourself feel more prepared? I am so glad you asked. Keep coming back here and I'm going to help show you. We are going to heal together and find those damn backpacks first to put our lights in. We are all able to heal and shine our lights in the darkness. We just have to believe we can do it and want to do it for ourselves. Nobody else can walk through our darkness for us. We must confront it ourselves and in our time. I know we can do this. Keep believing in yourself even when it gets tough. Over the next few blogs let's work on brightening your lights a little bit more too. Mama Cole loves you ... until next time... Take a deep breath and know that you are enough!!